Supermom VS. The Snake

Friday afternoon I had a chance to sneak out and run a few errands without kids, which for a mom of three is a real treat. Since baby Modette is nursing, I have to be sure to take no longer than the two hours she likes to wait between feedings. Running a bit late and returning home with hands full of groceries. I opened our back gate and stopped dead — shocked by the sight of a SNAKE directly in front of me. We’re not talking a little garden snake, but a five-foot, scaley thing that scared the breath right out of me. (Note: snake photo below so be prepared).

Choxie — our fierce but tiny Chihuahua — was barking like crazy at the unwelcome guest that blocked my path to our house’s back door. While out running my errands I’d been annoyed to discover that my cell phone was out of battery so I couldn’t call for help. I was hesitant to let the snake out of my sight, terrified that one of my girls would have heard my van pulling in and run out the back door to greet me — as they very often do — and come face to face with that snake.

Unsure of what else to do, I quietly closed the gate — the snake was busy hissing at Choxie and hadn’t appeared to notice me yet. Hoping Choxie, would keep the thing cornered, I ran around to the front door where I started ringing the bell and banging like a maniac, hoping to keep my family from heading out back before I could warn them.

My plan worked, and I told the girls to stay indoors. While Superdad headed out to check out our visitor, I sought help. Luckily my neighbor’s had a visitor too — a very brave, Crocodile-Hunter of a man who works for the Arizona Department of Agriculture and has owned snakes as pets (as if!). Anyway, he gladly came over and identified the snake as a “friendly” Gopher Snake. He actually asked us is if we wanted to keep him (are you kidding me?), and my husband politely answered, “No.”

By this point the snake had coiled himself and sprang at the Crocodile-Hunter man when he reached his leg out to him. Since he was wearing sturdy jeans and tennis shoes, the man didn’t even flinch. I, on the other hand, shrieked even though I was standing a good 10 feet away. The man took a second pass at the snake, and this time pinned the snake’s head down with his shoe and somehow picked up the slithering thing in his BARE HANDS! (Yup, you read that right — I’m telling you, he’s like the Crocodile Hunter come to life.)

He said that everybody should touch a snake at least once in their life. My husband seemed to agree, so I put on a brave face for the girls and stroked the now captured snake, who’s head was safely pinned in Mr. Crocodile Hunter’s fist. I touched the snake’s back and tummy, which I might add was much smoother and plastic-y feeling than his scaley back. I’m proud to report that each of my Superkids touched the snake too, before he was safely contained in old pillowcase that I’d happily provided.

After it was all said and done and the adrenaline started to clear my system, I was pretty frustrated that I hadn’t snapped a photo of the snake by our back door, but really when there is a SNAKE in front of you, “camera,” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Thanks to Premier Pest Management, here is a photo that will give you an idea of the frightful sight:

What happened to the snake? Crocodile-Hunter man took him home to his own backyard. He said he’s been having gopher problems.